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Piglets 'n a Blanket Pt.1

Buckle Up Cowboys n' Cowgirls, you might need a beer during and after this one.

Or maybe some Kleenex if you’re an animal lover...

If you're a vegan, might as well just go on and skip this one.

I was set on getting rid of those Pigs when we signed that contract. I swore up and down I would never have those “Nasty things in my yard!”

Of course, that all changed when I realized that both females were pregnant.

I couldn’t butcher them, plus no one wants an ugly-lookin' potbelly Pig that weighs over 300 pounds.

Even if she's free. I tried.

Sure, many would jump all over that opportunity if they were meat pigs.

A pigsty is what explains the whole mess we came to the night we moved in.

The house, the yard, the chicken coop, the pig pen.

EW, but especially the pig pen. I sure would if I could insert a throwing-up emoji right here.

Luke's first Farm Hand job. Cleaning the pen of pig $hit. No application needed; no pay given.

(Unless you're like me, count the three homemade meals a day plus room and board.)

I swear I smelled foulness on Luke and John for 3 days. I would make them take their shoes off at the door and go straight to the washer with their clothes, and into the shower. *Inserts Another Barf emoji*

It's cleaned out twice a day now, with shade, mudholes, plastic balls for playing, and scraps.
The pigs too, live Boujee.

When My mother and I realized how far along the sows were in pregnancy, (By the Teets sagging ALL the way to the mud) …

Reality REALLY set in.

It was going to happen any day now. And I haven’t as much even petted one of them.

I was up all night until 3 am watching YouTube Videos to train myself on how to assist in giving birth if I had to.

My momma was just over my shoulder laughin' and shakin' her head at me.

Telling me stories about her uncle's farm and why she never wanted one for herself.

She didn’t fool me though; I saw the fascination in her eyes when she would watch a video or two with me.

She stayed a couple of days thinkin' it was going to happen while my husband was out of town.
She wouldn’t admit it, but she wanted to witness it so badly. She lives her best Farming life through me.

I was pacing back and forth like an eager Grandma waiting for her first Grandchild.

I was sending photos to John every hour with updated pictures, (some of which you would probably want to pierce your own eye out before you would take a peek.) I thought it was interesting, and so did he. Farmer John…

My mom And I checked on “Sweet Pea” every hour for two whole days.

She had stopped eating, she was nesting, it was coming, but still…Nothing.

Well of course the minute my momma left she started with full-blown contractions in the morning.

So, I spent the next afternoon on facetime with her. But nope, nothing more….

John had just spent all day traveling on a plane back home.

I guess Sweet Pea wanted to wait for John to see it.

I made my husband set up a baby camera as soon as he got home, so I could watch and hear everything that was going on.

I was tired of walking back and forth in the damn cold every hour for 3 days!

Well shoot, two nights without sleep, I couldn’t take it anymore and passed TF out.

I woke up around 3 am and realized the camera had turned off…. "Ohhhhhh crap!" I thought.

So, I get up and put my winter clothes on and run up the hill….

Boom I saw those things flying out of her so fast before I could Make it into the barn.

I realized she was suffocating a couple, so I grabbed the ones that were hardly breathing and wrapped them up.

I ran inside as fast as my little heart could to get John.

One by one they came out and I would hand them to my husband. He would wipe them off and make sure they were breathing and place them all together under the heat lamp.

It was about 5 am when it all ended, piglets sleeping, nice and warm under the lamps.

Gloves and Pjs covered in Sow juice. Hell, at least I had gloves on.

"Wow, I’m a real damn Cowgirl now!" I was thinking.

7 am rolls around, 2 hours of sleep, and Ms. Grace wakes me up to ask if Sweet Pea had her babies.

We excitedly run up to the barn…


We walked into A PIGLET MASSACRE!!!

Piglets lay everywhere

I'm in Shock all wide-eyed, Grace is screaming, "OH NOOO MOMMY WHAT HAPPENED??!!!"

And of course, I'm crying, confused.

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